Ever since I was a very small planarchist I have been around half deaf in my lefternmost ear. It's never been a major issue for me, it means I can sleep on my good ear whilst the shite ear misses things that would keep other folks awake. There is a slight problem in group conversations or where there is a lot of background noise as the nature of the deafness (not all frequencies are equally suppressed) means that in such situation the background noise quickly swallows up everything else. Since planarchists are anti-social type creatures (particularly since they gave up working with other people for five days a week) this is perhaps less of a problem than it might be for those suffering from the more gregarious aspects of the human condition.
But, over the last couple of years it has been getting worse and worse due, it has been confirmed, to massive wax build-up. My alternative versions of what is being said to me are no longer funny...it's time to do something about it!
For most this would then just be a simple case of getting the ear syringed. Sadly the last thing the E.N.T. consultant I saw in 1975 said to me was that I shouldn't get it syringed. The damage already done to my ear drum meant standard syringing could result in the wax being propelled through the ear drum, down the Eustachian tube and very possibly straight to my heart where it would block the aorta in a most inconvenient manor (or something like that, it was a long time ago). No, what I had to do was make an appointment to see an E.N.T. department who had a special machine that would zap the wax with megatroid radiation (or something). So I went to my GP and he arranged a referral. My only confusion is this little segment of the letter:
"...please bring a first early morning specimen of urine..."
"Perhaps," said Mrs.Planarchy, "they're going to use it to slosh out your ears."